While some of the comments I recieved were really positive, or on the negative side but included constructive criticism, I felt that a few were quite harsh, as if they were attacking my own personal character. After reading my feedback, I struggled to remember the ” Giver’s Fact” which states that: “No matter what it appears to be, feedback information is almost totally about the giver, not the receiver (Seashore, Seashore & Weinstein).”

Reflecting on this, how I reacted to my peers’ commentary, and what the comments said, I learned that my classmates’ opinions of me are more important to me than I thought. Why is this? Outside of the classroom I am completely confident and secure in social settings. Perhaps my feelings of confusion about class material and feeling “lost” often in class actaully caused me to lose some confidence while in class. I made myself lost knowing I felt lost.

What surprised me most was that contributions that I was sometimes making that I thought were positive were seen by others as being negative. Prior to reading the comments, I had not thought about whether or not others would see what I was doing as something negative. I then reflected on my contributions to the class. While I see myelf as attemtping to fufill a group role in “maintenance,” I can see how the behavior could be seen as being self-oriented.

1. The quality and amount of group production is the responsibility of the group. T
2. I am a member of the group. T
3. The quality and amount of group production is my responsibility. T-but not solely
4. Goal-setting is a responsibility that I share. If true, explain how. T- in order to function together as a group every member must work together to set goals along with creating their own personal goals on how to contribute.
5. I have been instrumental in marshalling resources for the group. If true, explain how. F
6. Members are more important to groups than leaders. F
7. I am using this class to satisfy my individual and group-irrelevant needs. If true, on what basis can you earn a passing grade?  F?
8. To be a member in a group means I have to take on one or more roles. F
9. If I am in a group, I am either a functional member or an un- or dys-functional member. F
10. Our class/group has all the roles necessary to achieve optimum group growth and productivity. T- we are diverse and display a variety of roles enabling different contributions to be made
11. Our class/group has not yet generated effective work on the problem of role-requiredness. If true, what role have you been playing? If false, what evidence – on the group level – supports your claim? I am honestly not sure what role-requiredness is. However, I would have to say False because I believe that everyone in the class has a unique role, and all change frequently.
12. My role(s) in the class/group and different sub-group teams has changed depending on the stage of development. If false, why not, and what does having a static, unchanging role “do” to or for the group? If true, fill out the chart below.
13. Improving the group’s quality of functioning requires diagnosing role requirements needed at the current stage of development. T
14. I am unsure how to diagnose role requirements needed by my sub-group team. If true, what is your strategy for learning? F
15. I have role flexibility. T
16. Developing role flexibility is an important objective of group member training. The three roles I flex among the most are: a) gate-keeper b) encourager and c ) opinion giver. My role changes depending on how confident I feel about my contributions that day as well as what I feel I am able to contribue. ( Am I confused that day, am I feeling like I have not been offering the group much? Have I been talking too much and not letting others give their opinions?)
17. My personality and the role(s) I play in groups are the same thing. F
18. I never find myself resisting the retraining required to be a functional group member. If true, are you saying you never experience tension or anxiety in the class/group? Explain. If false, how does your resistance tend to show itself in role behavior? F- I am sometimes withdrawn from the group or focused on individual roles
19. I am highly sensitive to criticism about my functional role in a group. F
20. I will do anything possible to make sure everyone feels good, even if it means producing an inferior product. F
21. I am sensitive to the operation of member roles in our class/group and in my sub-group teams. T
22. I am aware of and conscious about my own proficiency in different functional roles. T-sometimes
23. I can identify several functional roles in any group. T
24. I can match the roles required to the stage of development a group is in. T
25. I can assess what role I can play best based on changing requirements for the group. F

Words are extremely powerful. I never believed the common saying “ sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Words can be painful, but they can also be uplifting and elating. Love is a powerful word that I feel our culture takes for granted. It is seen and heard everywhere. While reading Alison’s piece, I thought about my own usage of the word “love.” Bizarrely, I realized that I have no trouble at all using the word to describe inanimate objects, ( I love those shoes!) but find myself choking when I attempt to say it to a person. How can one word have such an intense meaning to me in one sense, and barely any at all in another? I also find that the effect of the word differs when used in different situations. For example, when hanging up the phone with my boyfriend we exchange “I love you’s”  automatically. We are so accustomed to doing this that I don’t feel anything when it happens, and it is as normal to me as just saying “goodbye.” However, if we are together, and he looks at me and says “I love you,” I get that powerful, elated feeling complete with a smile and butterflies. Same word, same person, different feelings.

Reading this reminded me of how we look at and define “frames” in class. Alison was able to look at the word love in a more in-depth way after experiencing another culture. I also thought of our Schein teams and how we observe communication. Perhaps our culture has something to do with the way we treat one another in fishbowls. We are careful with each other, for the most part, and have frequently observed each other using kinder words. I found it funny that when I read Alison’s description of American culture as “open, friendly, and expressive,” I was agreeing and disagreeing at the same time. While we are friendly with each other in class, we are not very open and honest but constantly editing our thoughts in order to make sure we communicate with each other in an “acceptable” way. If we were really open and expressive, we most likely would have progressed a little more quickly in our decision processes, and probably would have heard disagreements earlier on. In a culture that normalizes an intense, emotional word like love, it is a bit ironic that we are so closed off and careful about what we say.