One word, one-thousand meanings

Alison writes about a word called “love.” After studying abroad, and forming an intimate relationship with a Danish man, Alison looks at the American version of “love” in a different way. She relates the way that Americans use the word loosely and openly to our “open, friendly, and expressive” culture, and compares its usage to that of the culture of the Danes who rarely use the word “love.”

Words are extremely powerful. I never believed the common saying “ sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Words can be painful, but they can also be uplifting and elating. Love is a powerful word that I feel our culture takes for granted. It is seen and heard everywhere. While reading Alison’s piece, I thought about my own usage of the word “love.” Bizarrely, I realized that I have no trouble at all using the word to describe inanimate objects, ( I love those shoes!) but find myself choking when I attempt to say it to a person. How can one word have such an intense meaning to me in one sense, and barely any at all in another? I also find that the effect of the word differs when used in different situations. For example, when hanging up the phone with my boyfriend we exchange “I love you’s”  automatically. We are so accustomed to doing this that I don’t feel anything when it happens, and it is as normal to me as just saying “goodbye.” However, if we are together, and he looks at me and says “I love you,” I get that powerful, elated feeling complete with a smile and butterflies. Same word, same person, different feelings.

Reading this reminded me of how we look at and define “frames” in class. Alison was able to look at the word love in a more in-depth way after experiencing another culture. I also thought of our Schein teams and how we observe communication. Perhaps our culture has something to do with the way we treat one another in fishbowls. We are careful with each other, for the most part, and have frequently observed each other using kinder words. I found it funny that when I read Alison’s description of American culture as “open, friendly, and expressive,” I was agreeing and disagreeing at the same time. While we are friendly with each other in class, we are not very open and honest but constantly editing our thoughts in order to make sure we communicate with each other in an “acceptable” way. If we were really open and expressive, we most likely would have progressed a little more quickly in our decision processes, and probably would have heard disagreements earlier on. In a culture that normalizes an intense, emotional word like love, it is a bit ironic that we are so closed off and careful about what we say.

Advertisement